For the Love of Stress

When we try to define stress, the exact definition is not there because stress is whatever meaning we give to the word. This is based on life experiences, self-confidence, and our emotional state of being. My personal definition of stress; stress is a short word that encompasses subjective perceptions built around breaking points we designed in our minds over time. Our personal threshold. When we allow stress to overwhelm us, it leads to anxiety, depression, loss of self-esteem, and physical illness. This is not okay. What is okay? Stress is okay. You read that right. STRESS is okay. It is the response to perceived stress that leads to our breakdown. 

When a stress response negatively impacts our lives more than the perceived stressor, we become what I also like to call an emaculate disaster. I did spell emaculate correctly. I am not talking about "immaculate" as "perfect, clean, tidy." None of us are perfect. I am using the verb, emaculate, meaning "to clear from any imperfection." We essentially work to clean ourselves, others, or our situation of any perceived imperfection. When this fails, or we have multiple stressors piling on us, we consider the situation a disaster. A little dramatic, but we have all been there. There is a never-ending process of working toward perfecting every situation or thought we entertain. When what we desire to be, does not become our reality, it becomes a disaster. 

Stress did not always have a psychiatric meaning tied to it. I will let you Google the original term when you get bored. 

It wasn't until the 1930s, when rats showed a syndromic response to stressors during experimentation, that the term stress became more prominent in the mental health realm.  During these experiments, no physical harm was noted to the rats. Still, the rats became visibly exhausted as they were exposed to only one external stressor numerous times. 

First, rats used physical means to escape the stressor. Then, scientists noticed the rats tried to adapt or cope with the stressor. After repeated exposure and visible exhaustion, they could no longer physically escape or cope with the stressor.

They only applied one external stressor to the test rats. For us, it's a lot more complex. We do not have just one. Depending on where we are in our life, we could have numerous repetitive daily external stressors. Hell, it may feel like hundreds of external stressors affect us daily. And honestly, when we can escape one attack for the moment and finally cope with another, do we really notice any relief? 

This is daily life. Some stress is very trivial. What if we had to wait a little longer in line at the restaurant. No big deal in the grand scheme of things. But change this scenario to any given perceptions of stressors throughout the day, and you begin to see how complex even the small things become in your thoughts. 

Once they pile up, reaching the stress limit we have set for ourselves over time, we begin to build our defense which will translate into our response. Here comes the emaculate disaster. Verbally, our response could be disastrous for anyone on the receiving side of this unintentional outburst. Physically, our body's response can manifest acute illnesses that could become chronic. Mentally, the mind begins to lose the battle. We become depressed, anxious, develop insomnia, and the sense of failure creeps in. The mental effects can also cause physical effects. It seems as though the cycle is endless. 

Now that we have a very somber idea of how stress is defined as harmful stress (distress), which most can relate to, there is also good stress (eustress). Eustress is the stress we want, the stress we need.

What is this exactly? In psychology, eustress plays a role in the reward center of our brain and overall physical health. For instance, when you start a new job, you may feel excited or "stressed" about what to wear or feel anticipation (not the same as anxiety) the night before. There is excitement for this new journey. It triggers positive sensations, thoughts, and a sense of fulfillment. You feel accomplished and proud of yourself. You are stimulated to challenge yourself at your job because you want to continue to succeed. That is positive stress. 

We may walk, run, and work-out weekly. That is positive stress. The physical benefits of exercise are from the positive stress. We are rewarded by the sense that we are working on health maintenance, and our body responds with healthy weight-loss, better blood pressure, increased muscle tone.

If someone asks us to help them with a project they are working on, we say yes. Honestly, this may start as what we consider distress (mainly if we are limited on time or have other barriers). Still, the idea that we are helping someone in need so we support them. They are happy, we are delighted for them, and glad we helped. That's positive stress. 

The brain is fascinating in responding to stimuli from all over our body. Our site, taste, smell, and hearing are incredibly influential in creating our present experience. For example, we look at someone and store their features in our minds for future recognition if we meet them again. You know that phrase, "First impressions are lasting impressions." We unknowingly record their features in our brain: their jaw-line, nose, and even their eyebrows. We may feel they remind us of someone, like an aunt or a co-worker. Then, even before knowing them, we have a "sense" about that person based on our prior knowledge of how a person from our past looked or acted. We hear someone's name and immediately register others with the same name. How many women refused to name their newborn based on the family's suggestion because the name was a reminder of someone they had a bad experience with or impression of? 

How does this relate to stress affecting the brain? Well, we develop notions about life from the moment we are born. Our environment, and exposure, family influence, all create biases deep within our minds. As we mature, we perceive how things should be based on experiences we have seen and desires for ourselves. Yet, somehow, life does not work that way. How we desire our lives to be, is not always, if at all, a reality at any given moment. We become stressed if things don't go how we want or expect them to go. We have lost control. 

Our senses send signals to thebrain through our eyes and ears. The brain begins to process these signals and relays them to the prefrontal cortex of the frontal lobe, which is responsible for our thinking, emotions, behavior, and memory. Signals get sent to our temporal lobe, which also processes emotions. (The prefrontal and temporal lobes are responsible for much more, but I am keeping it simple.) We can perceive the stimulus as stress based on a hidden memory of an emotional experience or perhaps some other memory or learning experience from our past. The brain releases stress hormones that work on other areas causing a rise in our emotions. The flight-or-fight response is the physiological response to a stressful situation triggered by the release of those stress hormones. With acute stress, the communication between our brain cells can become disrupted. This may cause problems with how we can collect and store memories. Over time, chronic stress, with chronically elevated stress hormones, can cause brain atrophy leading to short- and long-term memory issues. Enough with the brain. I think you get the idea. 

People who experience chronic stress may develop several health issues. Often, they eventually develop gastrointestinal issues such as irritable bowel syndrome, nausea, maybe GERD  Chronic stress increases the production of stomach acid. This feeds other triggers in our GI system that eventually cause ulcers. Think about this, stress increases our bodies' inflammatory response, thereby increasing different aches and pains we may experience over time. Where does this lead us? For many, we are led right to (NSAIDS) like Motrin, Advil, or another form of pain reliever that can worsen stomach issues. Sadly, some turn to alcohol or other drugs as a stress relief.

Stress suppresses the immune system through modulating processes in the central nervous and neuroendocrine systems, releasing stress mediators. Reducing the body's ability to fight off viral and bacterial infections, increasing joint inflammation, or triggering underlying autoimmune responses.

The above is only the tip of the iceberg of what negative stress (distress) can do to the body and mind.

What are the effects of positive stress on the body?

For starters, positive stress also can increase our memory. Remember when you studied for tests? You felt a little nervous, but wanted to pass the exam, so you stayed focused and pushed yourself to study. You retained the information and passed the test. Today, what you learned in school has stuck chiefly in your noggin because you studied. The positive reinforcement was that you passed the test and moved on to the next one. Take your working environment; we all have to learn our skill set to perform our jobs successfully. This is positive stress.

Some may perceive this as negative stress, and the switch is turned off for them. With that mindset, most will struggle in school or at their jobs, in life. I will touch on how to change this perspective shortly. 

Exercising is a necessary positive physical stress on our body and our mind. This form of positive stress reduces our risk for chronic illnesses and enhances our moods, outlook, and behavior. Exercise also helps our body produce its very own version of cannabinoids. Anandamide and 2-AG. I will avoid a lengthy discussion on how these retrograde neurotransmitters go about their business, but just an FYI, we have cannabinoid receptors all over our bodies. The endocannabinoid system is activated when we exercise. This production positively affects mood. It helps reduce pain and inflammation. 

How can we change our viewpoint on our perceived stressors? First, let me start by saying there are some external stressors we may always have, depending on where we are at in our mental processing ability. There is no miracle drug or mental finger we can snap to change certain things. We have to work at re-directing our perspective for some of the more difficult stressors, but that does take time. If consistent, we will be very successful, managing our stress better and decreasing our feelings of depression, anxiety, and overwhelming pressure.  

Where to start:

1. Eat healthily! That is a straightforward low-lying fruit. Foods with antioxidants help reduce the oxidative stress produced during acute and chronic exposure. This decreases inflammation and increases immune response. Overall, we feel better—foods like dark chocolate, strawberries, blueberries, kale, beans, pecans, broccoli, and apricots. There are tons of them. 

2. Stay active! We know the benefits of activity on our overall perception of stress, and our ability to handle stress improves when we exercise.

3. Set aside time during the day to be still. Use that time to pray or meditate. Look at the events that have already happened during the day. Recognize what you have already accomplished during the day. 

4. Sleep hygiene. 

5. Do not dwell on the past. It's in the past. You cannot change it; you cannot control it. It happened. You can learn from it, but It's done and over with. Dwelling is solidifying the pain in your mind. Stop. The past is no longer your current situation, your current reality. Reground yourself with the present. 

6. When you feel your stress level is rising, take a minute and think it through. Take a breath. Be mindful and rational about the situation. Why is it so stressful for you? How can you solve the problem? Is it even a situation you NEED to be involved with? Most of the time, NO. It isn't. Is there an opportunity for growth in this situation? If yes, guess what? That's a positive stressor. Suck it up and climb that mountain. 

7. Keep a journal. Write down everything, your thoughts, positive and negative, blessings, and perceived worries. Your reality, facts. Your emotions. Read it over, and you begin to realize things that were HUGE stressors to you at one point are far gone. And look at you. You are in the present, comfortable. Nothing around you in your quiet moment will harm you physically or mentally. You are safe. Realize that there is a purpose for stress. It is preparation for other challenging times that may not have occurred yet. But still, don't dwell on what has not even happened yet. Journaling also helps you focus on current issues and think of ways to solve them more calmly and collectively. 

8. Live in the moment. It sounds cliché, but it's very beneficial. Consider the moment. Is the stress you are experiencing right now emotional or logical? Are you reasoning at this very moment? Living in the moment also helps reduce the stress we create for no apparent reason. (Dwelling on past events or things we haven't even experienced yet.).

9. Don't blame yourself for your perceived failure. Look at things with a more rational perspective and a less emotional perspective. If you made a mistake, guess what? You learned from it. It wasn't a failure. It was a lack of knowledge that you have now gained. So, move on. Positive stress. 

10. Keep learning. If problems arise in the future, you may have the knowledge already to fix the situation. Never stop learning. 

11. Remember, move on if it's out of your control. I can also go as far as to say not to expect anything from anyone. That sounds harsh. Especially when we are givers by nature and feel we never get a break. Kibosh, that expectation. You know the phrase, "Don't expect much, and you won't be disappointed." That is very wise. When we begin to set up expectations for others that do not meet what we have designed, we become stressed, angry, and disappointed. Set expectations for yourself ONLY. And work on yourself to fulfill those expectations. 

12. Stop caring about what others think. Why? Because you are placing their perception of you higher than yours. Stop. You value their thoughts about you more than you love your own. That is self-degradation. Remain humble but remember, their perception is just their reality. Not yours. Practice makes perfect. So work on this. STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU. This does not mean throwing your scruples to the wind. Have some rational thought. 

"If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, "He was ignorant of my other faults; else, he would not have mentioned these alone."

― Epictetus

13. Remember, your stress; your issues are your perception. You have control over your perception and your response. Step back and look again. Are you placing great value on small forgettable triggers? You are not where you were 5 years ago, 5 days ago, or even 5 minutes ago. Small triggers are fleeting. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. 

Scenario: You happen to stub your toe in the morning on the bedpost. That sets the tone for the rest of the day. Why? Because it hurts like hell. Your brain has already begun processing the negative emotions and memories associated with injury, and it lingers for a while. After starting like that, you have fixated on how terrible your day will be. As you go about your day, every little thing pops up, and your perception of external stressors is compounding in an overwhelmingly negative way. By the end of the day, you made it through, but now you are in line at the grocery store after picking up 3 items, and the lady in front of you has 50 items. You make eye contact and think, "Look lady, I only have 3 items." Hopefully, she will let you go first, so you can get home because your day sucked already. You are done with it. Your hope was dashed when she started unloading her cart onto the belt. How selfish. If the situation were reversed, you would have surely let her in front of you. Now, you are stewing over this entire situation.

You appear patient on the outside as you lay your 3 measly items behind the little plastic divider placed by the lady in front as she puts her eggs out last. On the inside, you are mentally imagining a world where you can check yourself out instead of waiting in line at the register for someone with 5 million groceries to ring up. The cashier calls you up as you progress into your negative thought process. The lady in front of you is walking out the door. You look at your packed food items, and as you start to pay, the cashier tells you, "No worries, the lady before you paid for your items." What? What just happened? In an instant, your entire perspective changes. You actually smile. You feel so grateful. How quickly our perception changes our outlook and our mood. 

Ultimately, we are all striving to do our best in every situation. My stress is not greater than yours, nor is your struggle greater than mine. It's our perception that creates the difference. Be grateful, be kind, reach out when you feel too overwhelmed, and be willing to help those who may be struggling.

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." -Marcus Aurelius